Katanas and Codpieces

Heroes, who larger than life and able to face down dozens of enemies in battle; find themselves standing tall with a swath of bodies piled around them, stacked like so much fire wood.  This is the iconic image of heroic fantasy, and believe me, I love me some heroic fantasy. Except when there are glaring issues about the weapons and armor of those involved in the scene jolting me out of the story.

Seriously, tell me how a man or woman dressed in leather or fur, or heaven forbid, nothing more than wispy gauze can face off against professional soldiers dressed in chain, plate and chain or even full plate armor and win.  Oh I get it, these are heroes, the heroes are supposed to win; it’s part of their reason for being. The bulging muscles of Conan, hero of Robert E. Howard, were girded in furs or cloth or on occasion chain armor. Which makes sense because the world he is envisioned is one where such armor or lack of, is expected.

But I have issues with stories taking place in a more medieval setting where the heroes are wearing chain bikinis, or simple leather armor or *gasp* are bare-chested and  never once worry about the people facing off against them.

Presumably the soldiers in fantasy stories are professional fighting men and women, skilled in their martial style, wearing armor and fighting as a unit. Yet we constantly see them bested by semi-naked or naked heroes, which simply doesn’t make much sense. I understand we want our heroes to survive; in fact it is vital that they do survive for the sake of the story. But anyone who has been involved in a melee will tell you, your head has to be on a swivel or you will get poked, sliced or otherwise hit in some way. It is not reality to write that the hero will survive unscathed, and while heroic fantasy is in fact fantasy, there has to be a modicum of realism to make us care for the character. A clear and present sense of danger if you will, that at any moment, our hero may suffer defeat.

This brings me to weapons. Swords are not just tools that can be interspersed willy-nilly into a fantasy novel. If you are talking medieval fantasy with a European backdrop, you will be hard pressed to find the Katana of a Samurai, or a heavy bronze shield of a Spartan. They just don’t fit; seriously they are not part of the medieval references that the writer is drawing from. And no, a Katana is not the end all be all sword, regardless of the hype the Japanese propagate.

When you write heroic fantasy, please try and keep the weapons and armor relatively close to the period you are describing, and don’t down play the skill of the soldiers you are slaughtering helter-skelter by the hundreds. They may not be as skilled as your hero, but in large numbers they can be dauntingly effective.