Advice and opinions...grains of salt gently taken.

There are a lot of things that we as writers and as people in general put up with in our daily lives. The greatest thing is advice and opinions, not only do we get it freely, we also tend to give it away free of charge.

Advice is tricky; the truth of the matter is most people don't really want to be given advice, that's true for writers who are just starting the process. Most new writers, most writers in general seek approval and we want people to appreciate what we write as we put so much blood, sweat and tears into it. Usually this is in our mind as we work to finish our Magnus opus, our great work.

Then reality sets in. We as writers absolutely need constructive and useful feedback. When we start our rewrites and revisions, we need people to tell us and be honest with us about our work. New writers often show their writing to friends or relatives and then they'll say, “What do you think?”

Now friends and family who are amazed by the mysticism that is creative writing, they usually tell us that it's awesome and we need to get it published right away, and they build us up. Occasionally you'll get someone who says it's piece of garbage, and that deflates our ego and our confidence quickly. But the reality is, our family and friends unless they are writers or editors, can't really tell us what's right or wrong with the work.

A friend of mine, Zachary, is in a creative writing class, and I read his blog posts about that class and I can feel his pain. Everyone in a creative writing class is a critic and everyone has an opinion of how something should be. But like your family and friends very few of the people in this class will actually have a sense or feel for which you are trying to create with your writing.

The problem with advice from family and friends or a creative writing class or critique group, is if you don't believe or agree with it, you'll probably slowly sabotaged what you're writing, and you'll lose trust in your own ability to judge what you've written. You also lose trust in the person is giving the advice, because as time goes on you start to question their ability to judge what you've written.

All advice and opinions about your writing have to be taken with a grain of salt. When you're in a group that's critiquing your work listen to what they tell you, never argue, never defend and never try to explain what you've written. The fact of the matter is if they didn't get what you've written it falls on you to clarify what you've written. After all they are reading what you’ve written.

Advice given to me and I really don't remember who gave it to me, but it's something that I go by when I have my works critiqued, is when one person mentions an issue in my writing I might be able to ignore it. If two people mention the same issue with my writing, I should look at; examine what the problem could be. And if three people mention the same issue with my writing, well I have a problem because I haven't either clarify what I meant, or I have totally screwed the pooch with what I wrote.

When you get advice or opinions about your writing, you have to decide which of the comments are valid to you. You have to detach yourself from your writing and you have to be able to look at the negative comments objectively. But anybody who discourages your belief in your ability to write or somehow through their negativity stops you from writing is not someone you should go to for advice.

I tell everyone in my writing group who asks, if you're serious about writing for publication, you need to be prepared to ask for the type of critique you want. Most new writers simply want people to say” I like it!” The truth of the matter is, you should be asking; “How does the story flow?”, “What are the strengths and weaknesses in the story?”, “Does the character show growth throughout the story?”,

When you ask these types of questions, I believe it shows that you are serious about the craft and want to learn to become better at writing. I know that there are several people my writing group who are taking the plunge to do NaNoWriMo, and I am ecstatic about that. But I don't want them to allow family and friends to review what they are writing, because it can derail them in their process.